Tonight I watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower. The title is from a line in the movie. The second time the line appears is really telling. It involves the main character and his crush. After he tells her this line she sits him down and asks him why he hasn’t asked her out. She explains that him putting others first and not actually involving himself this love he speaks of shows that he is missing the point himself.
This in itself brought to light how I personally have done this my entire life. I view myself as someone who is unfit to be loved by some. As if there has to be this perfect scenario for me to be loved by someone or for someone to be accepting of my love. There isn’t, love happens. We love freely as we feel we should. Life is too short to reflect on love lost. That’s where I am at right now. I don’t want get 5 or even 10 years down the road and realize I missed out on someone I have truly cared for.
Why do we do this to ourselves? I’ve always blamed it on valued friendships, because if I’m honest with myself and with you guys, I haven’t had very many truly close friendships. I believe it’s something to do with my personality. Who knows really. But now that I live in a place where I barely know anyone what’s the harm in showing interest in someone who doesn’t live in the same town as me? Because honestly if we don’t talk again it’s not that big of a deal, we hardly talk at all as it is.
It goes deeper than simple human love though. We do the same with God’s love do we not? We only accept his love when we believe we deserve it. Otherwise we spend our time convincing ourselves that we aren’t good enough. Which we aren’t, but God doesn’t care. He loved us while we were still sinners. So how do we grasp this love? If we aren’t willing to do it in our personal lives then we won’t be willing to do it in our Spiritual walks either. So we must first start by accepting love that even we think we don’t deserve. If we are able to do that human to human, then we will be willing to do that with God as well. Some may argue the opposite must be in effect, and maybe so, but from what I’ve noticed, if we as humans can experience it ourselves, we have a better grasp of how it will translate to our relationship with God.