As you progress in life you begin to realize that those who have come before you (typically your parents and grandparents) were right about many things in life. Many of us have received dating advice from family members and others who are more experienced than us. Some of it good and some of it straight up ridiculous. However there are four things that will never die and should be encouraged for years to come. They all stem from the idea of chivalry which is “the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms.”
Dressing Up Nicely (Courtesy)
We live in a culture today where it’s very easy to dress in athletic shorts or sweats with a tshirt and call it good. I’ll be honest and say I was shocked when I showed up to college and people actually wore pajamas to class. I barely feel comfortable wearing shorts to class in the summer time. How can we be comfortable wearing the same when we take a lady out on a date? We shouldn’t be. We should strive to look our best. To quote remember the Titans
You will wear a jacket, shirt, and tie. If you don’t have one, buy one. Can’t afford one, borrow one from your old man. If you don’t have an old man, then find a drunk, trade him for his. ‘Cause I guarantee you there isn’t a bum on the street that looks as raggedy and ridiculous as what I’m looking at right now.
Dress nice it will do wonders to not only your confidence but to the admiration the women in your life have for you. You won’t regret it.
Buying Her Flowers/Chocolate (Generosity)
This should be a given. However for some reason our society thinks this is overdone. However, regardless of how much society or even the girls around us want to deny it getting them flowers or chocolate is really something they will appreciate. Some might say that it’s not very “thoughtful” but just the action of getting her something that is sweet and romantic is worth more than any of the other thoughts that as Ben Rector says “are too cliche’ to impress a girl like her”. Buy her flowers, unless she’s allergic maybe then you get a free pass…even then buy her chocolate. If for some reason she’s allergic to both take the time to see what would be a romantic gesture to her and do it. It’s worth putting the smile on her face.
Holding The Door (Dexterity in Arms)
So maybe this doesn’t mean you’re a master jedi. It is however, another simple gesture but one that goes a long way. This one really is beyond just for the ladies in your life. Take the time to hold open the door for anyone that is around you. A lady will respect that you are being courteous to her and others may even be shocked that a random stranger is being courteous to them. Go beyond holding open the door, open up the car door for her, put your coat down so she won’t have to step in puddles. This shows her that you are there to take care of her. Don’t be suffocating but make sure that she doesn’t have to exert energy to do things that you should be doing as a man.
Being Respectful (Valor)
I could spend on all day on this one. Don’t be a hater, don’t be a player, don’t be a jerk in general. If you want to really show a lady that chivalry is not dead then by all means be respectful. Don’t try to pressure her to do things she isn’t comfortable with. Don’t talk bad about her friends, family, fashion or anything else for that matter. This goes hand in hand with holding open the door but it’s more of the verbal manner than the physical one. Never talk down to ladies. Be positive to them, be uplifting, compliment them on things. One of the greatest things a guy can do is to be observant and compliment a woman on something that she thinks he doesn’t notice. Another thing is being respectful not just to her but to everyone else you encounter as well. She is observing how you act around others. If you can’t treat everyone with the same amount of respect then she probably isn’t going to be that into you.